逆襲！改造4分雅思作文沖擊高分

各位辛苦備考的烤鴨們，不知道你們的雅思寫作真題刷到第幾遍了，也許你們當(dāng)中的很多人早已對雅思考官給出的高分范文了如指掌了，但是那些只給出了低分的反例范文(比如劍5TEST1中的大作文)讓我們在面對這些題目的時候難免迷茫，沒有觀點也無從下手。所以老師親筆打造了如下的范文(鄙人之見，希望同學(xué)們能得到一些啟發(fā)。)在咀嚼了高分甚至滿分范文之后，自己也小試牛刀，開始改造那些低分的作文。也許你會更深刻地理解考官的“心情”。

題目5TEST1：

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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提綱：

主題：大學(xué)錄取學(xué)生的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)

不同意：大學(xué)不應(yīng)該每個專業(yè)都招收同樣數(shù)量的男女學(xué)生。

理由1：大學(xué)應(yīng)該根據(jù)成績來選擇學(xué)生，而非性別。

理由2：很難確保每個專業(yè)的男生女生數(shù)量都相等。

理由3：男生女生數(shù)量相同不等于學(xué)術(shù)上取得更多的成就。

范文+翻譯：

隨著高等教育的迅猛發(fā)展，各個高校對于學(xué)生的錄取標(biāo)準(zhǔn)也作出了比較精細(xì)的規(guī)定。其中有些人就認(rèn)為大學(xué)應(yīng)該在每個專業(yè)都招收相同數(shù)量的男學(xué)生和女學(xué)生。但我個人認(rèn)為，這樣的觀點似乎忽視了高等教育的意義以及操作這種政策的難度。

With the booming advance in education, especially in higher education, universities in an increasing number tend to set more intensive standards on accepting students. Some of those colleges hold an idea to attract equal amount of students in each gender in every subject. Nevertheless, I personally believe that they seem to fail to take into account the significance of higher education as well as the difficulty in doing so. (69)

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首先，個人認(rèn)為大學(xué)應(yīng)該根據(jù)成績來選擇學(xué)生而非性別。因為高等教育的基本目標(biāo)是為社會培養(yǎng)專業(yè)人才，并且人才的評判標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是學(xué)生的專業(yè)知識水平，而非性別。所以學(xué)校在錄取學(xué)生的時候，不應(yīng)該以各性別人數(shù)作為標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。

First and foremost, from my own perspective, it is students’ grades rather than their gender that should be treated as an essential contributor to be chosen by a university. Given that the ultimate purpose of colleges is to cultivate talents for society, with the standard in students’ expertise and professional performances, universities are not supposed to enroll freshmen only according to their sex.(63)

其次，想要確保每個專業(yè)的男女生數(shù)量都相等，那將是多么困難的一件事情。首先，每個專業(yè)的報名候選人中，不一定男女比例均衡，比如理工類的專業(yè)，男生的比重往往高出女生10倍，而造成這種差異的主要因素是男生女生在性格上的巨大區(qū)別：男生比較理性而女生則較為感性。如果非要在這樣的專業(yè)中，保持男女生數(shù)量的平衡，那得取消多少男生報考該累專業(yè)的資格?

What is more, it is really hard to imagine the difficulty in ensuring the same number of male and female students in every single subject. It must be emphasized that the proportion of men and women among those candidates for the same subject is random, even extremely imbalanced in certain major related to science or technology, in which the number of male far outweighs its counterpart (There may be a ten-fold discrepancy in it.). What lead to such a difference is mainly due to the huge gender gap: men is more radical while women is more emotional (perceptual). By that I mean, if the number of each sex must be kept in a balance within such a major, how many male students would be deprived of their qualifications in attending the subject.(132)

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最后，就算每個專業(yè)的男生女生的數(shù)量都相等，那能意味著什么呢?更多更優(yōu)秀的學(xué)術(shù)成就?更和諧完美的學(xué)習(xí)氛圍?還是異性之間的性格互補?我想高等院校的確應(yīng)該為了保證自身的學(xué)術(shù)名聲而做出更多的努力和嘗試，但是單純錄取相同數(shù)量的男女學(xué)生，似乎無法得到滿意答案。

What is also worth noticing is the hiding significance behind such a policy. Does it equate with more excellent achievement in academy, more harmonious studying atmosphere or complementation from each gender? For me, efforts must be made to guarantee the academic reputation of a university. However, simply pushing equal number of students in each subject is absolutely not a wise choice.(61)

總之，不管采用什么樣的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，高等院校選擇學(xué)生的重點應(yīng)該更傾向于學(xué)術(shù)方面的能力，而不能只平衡男女學(xué)生的數(shù)量，甚至耗費精力去確保每個專業(yè)都是如此。

By way of conclusion, no matter what kind of criterion is adopted for colleges to recruit students, the academic skills seem more critical than the equal number in each subject, which, as for me, is a waste of time and energy.(41)

(366 words)

PS：

建議各位考生在寫作初期盡可能保留漢語作文的痕跡，一方面有助于自己審視作文內(nèi)容的質(zhì)量，另一方面也可以充分在漢譯英的過程中發(fā)現(xiàn)并熟練掌握英語和漢語的差異，從而學(xué)會使用更地道、精準(zhǔn)的語言表達(dá)自己的思想內(nèi)容。

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