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9分雅思大作文深度講解——獨(dú)居的利弊

2016-01-12 來(lái)源:互聯(lián)網(wǎng) 閱讀量: 手機(jī)閱讀

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最近的雅思寫(xiě)作考試中,與社會(huì)生活相關(guān)的抽象類(lèi)話題更是已經(jīng)晉升為僅次于教育類(lèi)的熱門(mén)考點(diǎn),也是復(fù)習(xí)準(zhǔn)備的難點(diǎn)。今天小編為大家分享一篇逐句解析一篇前雅思考官simon自寫(xiě)的9分范文的精讀,內(nèi)容是關(guān)于獨(dú)居好處和壞處的討論,清晰展現(xiàn)構(gòu)思過(guò)程及每個(gè)評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的拿分點(diǎn)。

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

構(gòu)思過(guò)程:

獨(dú)居,也就是一個(gè)人生活,顯然有利有弊,如果選擇一邊倒觀點(diǎn)顯然都站不住腳,很難論證,需要分開(kāi)討論平均用力。主體段一段寫(xiě)好處,一段寫(xiě)壞處。抽象類(lèi)話題往往在尋找觀點(diǎn)上比較困難或者沒(méi)有方向,建議大家按照文波雅思教授的方法分類(lèi)提取觀點(diǎn)。本篇考官分別從個(gè)人和經(jīng)濟(jì)的角度出發(fā),層次分明論證清晰,值得大家學(xué)習(xí)。

Introduction

1)背景導(dǎo)入,說(shuō)尤其在發(fā)達(dá)國(guó)家的大城市,最近幾年獨(dú)居變得更為常見(jiàn)。

In recent years it has become far more normal for people to live alone,particularly in large cities in the developed world.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):It + adj. + for sb. to do sth. + 后置狀語(yǔ)補(bǔ)充,注意完成時(shí)has become;注意particularly的用法,舉特例方便直接,類(lèi)似especially但語(yǔ)氣更強(qiáng); in the developed world比in developed countries更地道;far more修飾normal代入感強(qiáng))

2)觀點(diǎn)句,我認(rèn)為這個(gè)趨勢(shì)的影響好壞各半。

In my opinion, this trend could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):簡(jiǎn)單句+后置狀語(yǔ);虛擬語(yǔ)氣could have;consequences高分詞;in equal measure高分搭配)

Main Paragraphs 1

1)段首概括,一個(gè)人住在個(gè)人和宏觀經(jīng)濟(jì)上都有好處。

The rise in one-person households can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):被動(dòng)+后置狀語(yǔ)并列;主語(yǔ)the rise in one-person households替換more people choose to live alone,地道高分搭配準(zhǔn)確;seen as語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn);personal & broader economic詞匯得分點(diǎn))

2)分論點(diǎn)1:個(gè)人層面上,獨(dú)居的人可能變得比和家人一起住的人更獨(dú)立自強(qiáng)(常見(jiàn)觀點(diǎn))

On an individual level, people who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):前置狀語(yǔ)+主語(yǔ)who從句+謂語(yǔ)比較級(jí)+賓語(yǔ)who從句,高分復(fù)合句;self-reliant高分詞,展示詞匯量)

3)舉例論證+線性推理展開(kāi):獨(dú)居年輕人需要學(xué)做飯,做家務(wù),付賬單,管賬等重要的生活技能;這樣的人增加了就是種正面的發(fā)展

A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are valuable life skills; an increase in the number of such individuals can certainly be seen as a positive development.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):主語(yǔ)從句+插入語(yǔ)+不定式并列+賓語(yǔ)all of which從句;簡(jiǎn)單分句+被動(dòng);valuable得分詞;an increase語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn);such individuals指代準(zhǔn)確,語(yǔ)法和詞匯得分點(diǎn))

4)分論點(diǎn)2:經(jīng)濟(jì)角度上看,獨(dú)居的趨勢(shì)會(huì)導(dǎo)致住房需求增加(加分觀點(diǎn))

From an economic perspective, the trend towards living alone will result ingreater demand for housing.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):前置狀語(yǔ)+后置定語(yǔ)+簡(jiǎn)單句;trend towards living搭配準(zhǔn)確,詞匯和語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn);result in學(xué)術(shù)搭配,詞匯得分點(diǎn);demand for housing詞匯得分點(diǎn))

5) 舉例說(shuō)明展開(kāi):這樣會(huì)讓建筑公司,房產(chǎn)中介和其它依賴業(yè)主購(gòu)買(mǎi)產(chǎn)品的公司獲益。

This is likely to benefit the construction industry, estate agents and a whole host of other companies that rely on homeowners to buy their products or services.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):簡(jiǎn)單句+賓語(yǔ)并列+賓語(yǔ)that從句;likely to benefit學(xué)術(shù)搭配,詞匯得分點(diǎn);construction industry & estate agents展示詞匯量;rely on homeowners詞匯得分點(diǎn))

Main Paragraph 2

1)段首概括:上述個(gè)人和經(jīng)濟(jì)的論點(diǎn)可以反向考慮;(簡(jiǎn)介易懂,掛鉤前文暗含對(duì)比,CC滿分技巧)

However, the personal and economic arguments given above can be considered from the opposite angle.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):轉(zhuǎn)折+簡(jiǎn)單句被動(dòng);given above非謂語(yǔ)修飾,語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn);be considered from學(xué)術(shù)搭配,詞匯語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn);the opposite angle詞匯得分點(diǎn))

2)分論點(diǎn)1:和獨(dú)立的好處相比,獨(dú)居的人會(huì)感覺(jué)孤獨(dú)、隔離和不安(常見(jiàn)觀點(diǎn))

Firstly, rather than the positive feeling of increased independence, people who live alone may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):前置狀語(yǔ)+主語(yǔ)從句+賓語(yǔ)并列;rather than無(wú)痕跡對(duì)比,語(yǔ)法和CC得分點(diǎn);loneliness & isolation高分詞)

3)舉例對(duì)比+論證展開(kāi):他們錯(cuò)過(guò)了家人或室友提供的對(duì)話和支持,還要承擔(dān)過(guò)重的家庭賬單和職責(zé);這樣來(lái)說(shuō),這個(gè)趨勢(shì)就是負(fù)面的

They miss out on the emotional support and daily conversation that family or flatmates can provide, and they must bear the weight of all household bills and responsibilities; in this sense, perhaps the trend towards living alone is a negative one.

(句型結(jié)構(gòu):簡(jiǎn)單句并列+賓語(yǔ)從句+簡(jiǎn)單分句;miss out on地道搭配;emotional support, daily conversation & flatmates詞匯加分點(diǎn);bear the weight of高分搭配,詞匯得分點(diǎn);a negative one指代準(zhǔn)確避免重復(fù),語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn))

4)分論點(diǎn)2:從經(jīng)濟(jì)角度來(lái)說(shuō),住房需求增加會(huì)推高房?jī)r(jià)和租金(加分觀點(diǎn))

Secondly, from the financial point of view, a rise in demand for housing is likely to push up property prices and rents.

(句式結(jié)構(gòu):前置狀語(yǔ)+簡(jiǎn)單句;the financial point of view替換an economic perspective;likely to push up學(xué)術(shù)搭配;property prices & rents詞匯得分點(diǎn))

5)對(duì)比論證+說(shuō)明展開(kāi):雖然讓企業(yè)獲益,但大眾包括獨(dú)居的人都要面臨更高的居住成本

While this may benefit some businesses, the general population, including those who live alone, will be faced with rising living costs.

(句式結(jié)構(gòu):讓步句+插入語(yǔ)補(bǔ)充+被動(dòng);be faced with地道搭配;rising living costs詞匯得分點(diǎn))

Conclusion

1)一句話總結(jié):獨(dú)居增加對(duì)個(gè)人和經(jīng)濟(jì)影響有好有壞

In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals and on the economy.

(句式結(jié)構(gòu):總結(jié)+簡(jiǎn)單句+賓補(bǔ);detrimental不利的,高分詞,beneficial & detrimental替換positive & negative;兩個(gè)on介詞短語(yǔ)并列,語(yǔ)法得分點(diǎn))

評(píng)分

TR: 兩面觀點(diǎn)完整回答問(wèn)題,分論點(diǎn)詳實(shí)有深度,首尾段觀點(diǎn)總結(jié)到位,9分

CC: 全篇結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,整齊,行文連接通順,易于理解,沒(méi)有明顯模板痕跡,9分

LR: 詞匯非常多樣,同義替換到位,搭配地道準(zhǔn)確,9分

GA: 句型多變,復(fù)合句實(shí)用靈活,沒(méi)有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤,9分

(13 sentences, 306 words, band 9)

經(jīng)典的4段13句模板,大家可以模仿哦,注意,這里所謂的模板,是指他所熟悉和擅長(zhǎng)的一種行文結(jié)構(gòu),而并非具體的模板句型。祝早日與雅思分手。

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