2014年8月9日雅思寫作真題解析及高分范文

2014年8月9日雅思寫作真題解析及高分范文

Task2：
　　Some people think government should ban dangerous sports and some others think it is a freedom to choose the activities we want to. Discuss both view and give your opinion. 有人認(rèn)為政府應(yīng)該禁止年輕人們從事危險(xiǎn)性的運(yùn)動(dòng),有人認(rèn)為人們有自由選擇自己喜歡的運(yùn)動(dòng)方式,討論兩種觀點(diǎn), 給出你的意見. （2011年7月30日）

　　原創(chuàng)范文賞析：

首段：背景介紹
　　Such is a human nature to explore and experience the unknown. A trend is that numerous people are fond of embarking on challenging sports events, such as mountain biking, rock climbing and scuba diving, especially among those dynamic young adults. Those who pursue excitement and the sense of refreshment in the dull routine daily life claim that life without risk is no life at all.（65）
　　翻譯：探究和體驗(yàn)未知的世界是人之本性, 當(dāng)下, 很多人,尤其是精力充沛的年輕人, 喜歡從事充滿挑戰(zhàn)的競(jìng)技體育項(xiàng)目, 例如山地自行車, 攀巖和海底潛水等。那些喜歡在枯燥的，日復(fù)一日的生活中追求刺激和新鮮的人聲稱, 人生沒有冒險(xiǎn)就不能稱其為人生。
　　點(diǎn)評(píng)：首段自然開篇，沒有爭議焦點(diǎn)和寫作意圖，沒有模版痕跡，留下想象空間。
　　語料庫：
　　1.Such is a human nature to…… 做……是人之本性
　　2.embark on = undertake = take up v 從事……
　　3.dynamic = energetic adj精力充沛的
　　4.challenging adj 充滿挑戰(zhàn)性的
　　5.perilous = dangerous = risky adj 危險(xiǎn)的

二段：我的口吻談及極限運(yùn)動(dòng)的利好：
　　Granted, a great many virtues could be gained via undertaking those risky or demanding sports activities. Primarily, the extreme adventures can be taken as is a sort of effective way to help players relieve their pressure and relax their mood， because the occupied modern life often deprive one's right of seeking relaxation. The popularity of bungee jumping accounts for risky sports' significant function in terms of reducing stress. Imaginably, one's working or study efficiency could be highly enhanced after doing his or her favorite sports events. Moreover, not only can the extreme adventures exert wholesome impacts, but also it could foster one's skills, chasten one's tenacity and forge one's frustration toleration. Some extreme adventures，such as rock climbing and surfing， requires high techniques or much perseverance. Ultimately, the extreme adventures could be developed into tempting tourism items, which could generate immense economic value.（143）
　　翻譯：的確，從事極限運(yùn)動(dòng)利好很多。 第一, 這是一種極佳的方式幫助運(yùn)動(dòng)者緩解壓力, 愉悅心情, 因?yàn)榫o張的現(xiàn)代生活已經(jīng)剝奪了人們放松休閑的權(quán)利。蹦極運(yùn)動(dòng)的流行就解釋了運(yùn)動(dòng)在緩解壓力方面的積極作用。可以想象, 運(yùn)動(dòng)之后,人們的工作學(xué)習(xí)效率都會(huì)提高。另外, 極限運(yùn)動(dòng)不僅僅有益健康, 還能培養(yǎng)人的技巧, 磨礪人的堅(jiān)韌性以及鑄造人的挫折忍受力, 一些運(yùn)動(dòng), 例如攀巖和沖浪, 就需要人有極高的技巧和毅力。 最后, 極限運(yùn)動(dòng)可以開發(fā)成熱門的旅游項(xiàng)目, 創(chuàng)造巨大的經(jīng)濟(jì)價(jià)值。
　　點(diǎn)評(píng)： 極限運(yùn)動(dòng)就是運(yùn)動(dòng)的利好, 就是戶外活動(dòng)的利好, 就是體育課的利好。第一點(diǎn)可以從健康緩解壓力的角度展開。第二點(diǎn)論及到精神成面，用三劍客短語才藝展示一下。第三個(gè)論據(jù)可以上升到旅游經(jīng)濟(jì)。
　　語料庫：
　　1.accounts for v解釋了……
　　2.in terms of adv 在……方面
　　3.deprive one's right of …… v剝奪某人……的權(quán)利
　　4.the extreme adventures n極限運(yùn)動(dòng)
　　5.exert wholesome impacts v有益健康
　　6.foster one's skills, chasten one's tenacity and forge one's frustration toleration v培養(yǎng)人的技巧，磨礪人的堅(jiān)韌性以及鑄造人的挫折忍受力。

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三段：談及極限運(yùn)動(dòng)的弊端：
　　Nonetheless, problems invariably ensue. One possible downside is that some perilous sports activities might become the roots of injuries and agonies. There exist high levels of injuries, which sometimes disable players and even ruin their whole lives. Another adverse aspect is that some intense extreme sports are merely an excuse for violence. To illustrate, boxing involves excessive violence and bloody contents so that it imposes adverse impact on adolescent TV viewers, namely, it might arouse their sadistic impulse.（78）
　　翻譯：然而, 問題隨之而來。第一， 危險(xiǎn)性極高的運(yùn)動(dòng)可能會(huì)導(dǎo)致意外受傷和痛苦。這些意外有可能導(dǎo)致人的殘疾或者毀掉人的一生。第二， 一些劇烈的極端運(yùn)動(dòng)會(huì)成為暴力的借口。例如, 拳擊比賽含有太多的暴力和血腥, 對(duì)于年輕人有不良的影響, 例如誘發(fā)他們的施虐沖動(dòng)。
　　點(diǎn)評(píng)：弊端寫成出兩點(diǎn), 理性客觀. 模版?zhèn)�性化,路標(biāo)詞匯清晰，行文有亮點(diǎn).
　　語料庫：
　　1.problems invariably ensue 問題隨之發(fā)生
　　2.disable players v導(dǎo)致運(yùn)動(dòng)者殘疾
　　3.imposes adverse impact on …… v施加了不良影響
　　4.namely adv即是說
　　5.It might arouse their sadistic impulse 引起他們施虐沖動(dòng)

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　　總結(jié)：亮明觀點(diǎn)
　　Personally, I encourage the extreme adventures, for it is a symbol of freedom, so it is citizens' elementary right to opt for his or her favorite sports activities. Efforts should be made to ensure risky sports events are thrilling, amusing and profit-making, however, to prevent accident and injury is highly recommended.  （52）
　　翻譯：個(gè)人而言, 我十分鼓勵(lì)極限運(yùn)動(dòng)，這是自由的象征，這是公民的基本權(quán)利選擇自己喜歡的運(yùn)動(dòng)。我們應(yīng)該努力保證運(yùn)動(dòng)的刺激，有趣和盈利，但是, 采取措施去預(yù)防受傷和意外又是高度推薦的。
　　點(diǎn)評(píng)：尾段亮明立場(chǎng)，針對(duì)弊端再提出解決策略，觀點(diǎn)無懈可擊。

　　語料庫：
　　1.efforts should be made to …… 我們應(yīng)該努力做……
　　2.are thrilling, amusing and profit-making adj 刺激的，有趣的和盈利的。
　　3.opt for his or her favorite sports activities v選擇喜歡的運(yùn)動(dòng)

　　全文點(diǎn)評(píng)： 文無定法，小鵬哥原創(chuàng)范文只是雅思范文寫作之一種。本文自然開篇，摒棄常規(guī)寫法，主題留有懸念。主體段落自然論證極限運(yùn)動(dòng)的利弊，尾段亮明立場(chǎng)，針對(duì)弊端再提出解決策略，觀點(diǎn)無懈可擊。全文約280字，剛好在40分鐘可以完成。自我評(píng)分這篇文章會(huì)7.5分以上。

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